The past few weeks have been… well, I don’t really have words. The dog is STILL shedding (*sigh* huskies) and vacuuming has been upped to 2-3x a day because littlest Cags is pretty much mobile and freaks if he’s in the pack n’ play too long. Speaking of Aiden; he’s teething like a mad man. Four teeth at once: both bottom central incisors and both top lateral incisors. For those of you who are like, “Wha…?” here’s a photo to explain:
I think it goes without saying that he is having a pretty tough time and it’s throwing his feeding schedule for a loop. I also have an active two year old, and by active I mean EXTREMELY active, who has taken to throwing tantrums frequently. Zach is either on or in something, is always moving, and is curious about everything and when he’s upset or mad you know it. There’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that this kids is voicing his autonomy. I’m talking full out, kicking, hitting, screaming, head banging, throwing self on the floor, refusal to do anything tantrums. I think it’s needless to say we’ve started using time-out.
On top of that, this past weekend we started putting the boys in the room together at bedtime. Surprisingly, it has worked in our favor. Before, we would put Zachary to bed in the boy’s room and allow Aiden to fall asleep in our bed; not a great habit to encourage in my opinion. Now, I’m all for co-sleeping or not co-sleeping, whatever works for you, but I personally don’t want my child to refuse to go to sleep unless he’s in my bed. Of course, there are certain exceptions to the rule; but in general, no… just no. So there were some ups and quite a few downs, but things were okay, we were making it. And then this week happened…
The weekend was one of those lazy, fun weekends where you watch movies and eat whatever’s in the fridge. We all rested and relaxed together. It was enjoyable. Monday morning brought early rising for both David and I and Zachary coming to the realization that daddy was not home. He comes to this realization every single Monday. What can I say, he’s two. When Dave came home from work that afternoon he informed me that he would be leaving on work (aka military/government) related business this week. THIS WEEK?! “Probably Sunday,” he said, “but the earliest Wednesday or Thursday.” WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY?! That’s in 2 days, I thought to myself. Ooookay then. He came home from work on Tuesday to tell me it looked more like they would be leaving on Thursday as opposed to Sunday. Okay, that’s one more day we get to spend with him. Good. This will be good.
Wednesday: I get a call from David at 8:30 am saying he’s coming home to pack because he just found out the team’s leaving for the airport at noon. WHAT?! We barely got a chance to say goodbye. All you military people are feeling me right now. Thank the Lord my husband is not planning to reenlist because I tell you; shore duty has ruined me for extended time apart. Being in the military, you come to understand that plans, dates, times, destinations, can change at the drop of a hat and nothing is certain until it is happening. Even then there’s a little uncertainty. But this was happening with 100% certainty and somewhere around nap time my husband boarded his first flight and would eventually find him in Scotland, home of his ancestors (some of them anyway). Cool. This will be good and we’ll make some extra money (which we really need right now). We’ll be fine. I’ll get the boys into a groove, we’ll get out, we’ll have fun, and it’ll be fine. The joke was on me.
After Dave left, Zachary was experiencing major separation anxiety. He threw a fit everywhere we went. It didn’t matter if we were on our way out the door or if we were just trying to go home; he was not happy and was making sure I knew. I couldn’t leave him in the nursery at church so I spent all service chasing him around the lobby area and walking with him outside. And that night, after coming home from church, neither of my boys would go to bed. Both were wide awake. They were getting sleepy on the short ride home, but they hit their second wind once we got inside the house. I had to break our “putting Aiden to sleep in the crib” streak and let him fall asleep in our bed. Once he did, I brought him to his crib and then rocked and sang to Zachary for 30 minutes to calm him down enough to fall asleep. I finally had some me time. I decided I’d watch a movie (My Big Fat Greek Wedding is always funny, no matter how many times you watch it) and make myself a little snack: chocolate covered pretzel crisps. Oh yes. As I was microwaving the semi-sweet chocolate chips something worrisome began to happen: the light inside the microwave started to flicker and the machine made a loud buzzing noise, not like the normal microwave sound you usually hear. I promptly shut it off and unplugged it and did the only logical thing I knew to do at that point: I called Grampa. My grandfather confirmed my suspicions: the microwave was not working properly and should not be used. Great. Now I’ve got half melted chocolate and no microwave. Eh, whatever, I’ll make do. Then something was wrong with the outlet for the ac unit in our room. No ac at the end of August with Indian summer right around the corner?! Nooooo! I did get the ac running again thankfully. I just used a different plug.
Thursday morning yielded all new stressors. The boys woke up later than usual, which was nice for me at first, but it was all kind of downhill from there. I don’t ever get to sit and finish my morning coffee so I rely on the microwave to reheat it. No microwave means cold coffee. Yuck. At one point Zachary removed his poopy diaper a brought it to me. Thankfully it did not get all over my son or my home. Aiden was super grumpy because his gums hurt. Oh, and my hair straightener blew up almost in my face. Sparks flew burning a hole in the shirt I was wearing. Thank God it wasn’t anywhere near my head; I could have lost an eye or my hair could have caught on fire.
Dear Conair, you’re hair straightener tried to kill me. And you owe me a new shirt… Just saying.
After all this craziness I decided it’d be a good idea to get out of the house where everything keeps breaking and do something fun. We took a trip to the aquarium. I’m pretty sure it’s the boys’ favorite place. It was not the first time I had been out with the boys alone, this was not my first rodeo, but it was my first time choosing to go without the double stroller. Zachary always wants to get out anyway, I thought, why not let him walk and burn some of that pent up energy? This was both a great decision and a terrible one. Zach loved walking around like a big boy, and Aiden thoroughly enjoyed being able to see everything without Zachary’s head in the way for a change. I did have to leave the stroller to chase Zach down a couple times, but it went pretty well. That was, until we tried to leave after lunch. Lately, as I stated before, Zachary has been giving me a hard time leaving the house and once we’re out he doesn’t want to go back home. I told him it was time for us to go home and say “bye bye” to the aquarium… annnd cue meltdown. Picture this if you will: it’s lunch time, there’s people everywhere, not a lot of room to move through the crowd, and my child starts freaking out. I had to pick him up and carry him, trying to keep him from hitting anyone, while navigating through a sea of people, and simultaneously pushing a bulky stroller. Upon our arrival to our vehicle I had to change diapers and get Zachary into his car seat. He fought me through it all. Even Aiden started acting up. I swear they feed off each other. Thankfully both boys fell asleep on the drive home because I was about to kill somebody (not really of course, but you know what I mean). Everyone was quiet, that is until Aiden woke up early and fussed almost all afternoon. When Zachary woke up from his nap it was time to accomplish the impossible: get everyone out the door, again, and go to Walmart to pick up an inexpensive microwave. FYI I was not planning on spending $70, but whatcha gonna do? Our Walmart trip was frustrating to say the least. I had to let Zach walk next to me because the microwave took up all of the room in the cart. Somehow I thought that would work out okay. Seriously? Check out brought another meltdown. At this point I had lost count of them. Check out complete. Back to the car. Thank you kind Walmart employee for pushing the cart while I carried my boy. And thank you for loading my trunk while I put my children in their seats. You are awesome! Back home. Time for dinner. By now it’s 7:30ish… way too late for dinner. Change Aiden’s diaper and get him in jammies. Chase Zach to change his diaper and get him in jammies, which he strongly protested. Teeth brushed. Books read. Bottle for Aiden. Aiden passes out. Sing to Zach. Pray with Zach. Kiss Zach goodnight. It’s 9:30. Ugh. And of course I still have dishes to do and laundry to fold. I do the bare minimum and try to finish this post. That didn’t happen. *By the way, I know I flipped from past to present tense. I do that in conversation sometimes. I am a grammar freak, but I’d rather this reads like I’m talking than a properly written piece. Back to it…* I put on a movie, fell asleep on the couch, woke up at 1:30, and went to bed.
Btw… This parenting thing, it’s tough work especially when you’re by yourself. All you single parents out there: I don’t know how you do it. You are incredible!
Yesterday (Friday) both boys woke up late again, but we did manage to get to the playground before lunch time. Zach burned a lot of energy, thank God. They fell asleep in the car, again, and I tried to finish this post, again. And again, that didn’t happen. Aiden woke up earlier than expected, ate, and played. Zach woke up later than expected and back out we went’ this time to the grocery store and it went surprisingly well. Still rough, but better than Thursday. We got home and ate dinner late, again. Diapers changed. Jammies on. Teeth brushed. Books read. Sing. Pray. Tuck everyone in. Neither of them would go to sleep. It’s 9:30 and they are both still wide awake. NOOOO! Aiden passed out somewhere around 9:45, but Zachary was all over the place in there and was getting into everything he could. So I went into the battle zone armed and ready to get this child to sleep. I told him it was time to go to sleep, he hopped into bed, and I left. We did this little dance 3 times. Finally I removed any toys left in the room. (I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner… probably exhaustion.) Zachary was tucked in and kissed goodnight for the 5th time and I went to call my mother and vent. I was stressed, tired, and overwhelmed. My husband had left for this trip in the blink of an eye, my sons were confused, why wasn’t daddy home, and I was still reeling from it all. Like I said, shore duty has ruined me. I told my mother how tired I was, how I hadn’t eaten since before noon, and how it was after 10pm and Zachary still wasn’t asleep. I wanted someone to come in and make everything better, to fix it. Make my kids behave how I wanted them to and make the day go the way I wanted it to go. But, duh, life doesn’t work that way. I asked her how I was supposed to make it through several days like this to which she replied, “You just have to take it one day at a time. Just get through one day, don’t worry about tomorrow”. As she spoke some sense into me, I realized that it was more my stress level than Dave being gone that was having a negative effect on us. My children were picking up on my stress and frustrations which stressed them and was making them miserable. I was starting the day with a “here we go again” mindset and each little inconvenience pushed my mind deeper into the rabbit hole that is negativity. I was exhausted not from my responsibilities, but from my own negative attitude. It takes energy to be positive or negative; but positivity will make you feel energized while negativity just drags you down. I needed to take my thoughts captive, to tame my tongue, and stop allowing the negative to gain control over me and my family. I really, truly, needed to surrender everything, all of it, to the Lord and ask Him for help. And not just once, but all throughout the day, especially when I feel like being a grump. So last night, after getting off the phone with my mom, I prayed and made that choice. Ya know, the one where I relinquish control. This seems to be a running theme with me. Afterwards I sat on the couch with my Greek pasta salad (Big Y, I love your pasta salads) and fell asleep while watching The Lego Movie. First of all, yes, I watched The Lego Movie… by myself. Anyway. Secondly, how does someone fall asleep watching THE LEGO MOVIE?! I mean, the first time I saw it I felt like I was gonna have a seizure. How do you fall asleep to that? I don’t know.
Now today is Saturday. I was awakened at 6:30 to the sound of babbling and Zachanese. Oh no. Nope. Don’t even start that negative-ness. Okay. Where’s the positive in this? Nobody’s screaming/crying. That’s good. And this means they’ll nap earlier which also means they’ll go to bed on time tonight! OH YES YES YES! Both boys woke up happy and hungry. Change diapers (I change a lot of diapers). Get breakfast ready. Feed kids. Make coffee. Everyone’s happy. Yes. Get boys dressed. Get self dressed. Reheat coffee. Everyone’s still happy. Yes, again. Aiden fell asleep before we could get outside? No problem. Just make musical instruments out of Puffs containers, elbow macaroni, dry garbanzos, and dry couscous.
On top of that, this past weekend we started putting the boys in the room together at bedtime. Surprisingly, it has worked in our favor. Before, we would put Zachary to bed in the boy’s room and allow Aiden to fall asleep in our bed; not a great habit to encourage in my opinion. Now, I’m all for co-sleeping or not co-sleeping, whatever works for you, but I personally don’t want my child to refuse to go to sleep unless he’s in my bed. Of course, there are certain exceptions to the rule; but in general, no… just no. So there were some ups and quite a few downs, but things were okay, we were making it. And then this week happened…
The weekend was one of those lazy, fun weekends where you watch movies and eat whatever’s in the fridge. We all rested and relaxed together. It was enjoyable. Monday morning brought early rising for both David and I and Zachary coming to the realization that daddy was not home. He comes to this realization every single Monday. What can I say, he’s two. When Dave came home from work that afternoon he informed me that he would be leaving on work (aka military/government) related business this week. THIS WEEK?! “Probably Sunday,” he said, “but the earliest Wednesday or Thursday.” WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY?! That’s in 2 days, I thought to myself. Ooookay then. He came home from work on Tuesday to tell me it looked more like they would be leaving on Thursday as opposed to Sunday. Okay, that’s one more day we get to spend with him. Good. This will be good.
Wednesday: I get a call from David at 8:30 am saying he’s coming home to pack because he just found out the team’s leaving for the airport at noon. WHAT?! We barely got a chance to say goodbye. All you military people are feeling me right now. Thank the Lord my husband is not planning to reenlist because I tell you; shore duty has ruined me for extended time apart. Being in the military, you come to understand that plans, dates, times, destinations, can change at the drop of a hat and nothing is certain until it is happening. Even then there’s a little uncertainty. But this was happening with 100% certainty and somewhere around nap time my husband boarded his first flight and would eventually find him in Scotland, home of his ancestors (some of them anyway). Cool. This will be good and we’ll make some extra money (which we really need right now). We’ll be fine. I’ll get the boys into a groove, we’ll get out, we’ll have fun, and it’ll be fine. The joke was on me.
After Dave left, Zachary was experiencing major separation anxiety. He threw a fit everywhere we went. It didn’t matter if we were on our way out the door or if we were just trying to go home; he was not happy and was making sure I knew. I couldn’t leave him in the nursery at church so I spent all service chasing him around the lobby area and walking with him outside. And that night, after coming home from church, neither of my boys would go to bed. Both were wide awake. They were getting sleepy on the short ride home, but they hit their second wind once we got inside the house. I had to break our “putting Aiden to sleep in the crib” streak and let him fall asleep in our bed. Once he did, I brought him to his crib and then rocked and sang to Zachary for 30 minutes to calm him down enough to fall asleep. I finally had some me time. I decided I’d watch a movie (My Big Fat Greek Wedding is always funny, no matter how many times you watch it) and make myself a little snack: chocolate covered pretzel crisps. Oh yes. As I was microwaving the semi-sweet chocolate chips something worrisome began to happen: the light inside the microwave started to flicker and the machine made a loud buzzing noise, not like the normal microwave sound you usually hear. I promptly shut it off and unplugged it and did the only logical thing I knew to do at that point: I called Grampa. My grandfather confirmed my suspicions: the microwave was not working properly and should not be used. Great. Now I’ve got half melted chocolate and no microwave. Eh, whatever, I’ll make do. Then something was wrong with the outlet for the ac unit in our room. No ac at the end of August with Indian summer right around the corner?! Nooooo! I did get the ac running again thankfully. I just used a different plug.
Thursday morning yielded all new stressors. The boys woke up later than usual, which was nice for me at first, but it was all kind of downhill from there. I don’t ever get to sit and finish my morning coffee so I rely on the microwave to reheat it. No microwave means cold coffee. Yuck. At one point Zachary removed his poopy diaper a brought it to me. Thankfully it did not get all over my son or my home. Aiden was super grumpy because his gums hurt. Oh, and my hair straightener blew up almost in my face. Sparks flew burning a hole in the shirt I was wearing. Thank God it wasn’t anywhere near my head; I could have lost an eye or my hair could have caught on fire.
Dear Conair, you’re hair straightener tried to kill me. And you owe me a new shirt… Just saying.
After all this craziness I decided it’d be a good idea to get out of the house where everything keeps breaking and do something fun. We took a trip to the aquarium. I’m pretty sure it’s the boys’ favorite place. It was not the first time I had been out with the boys alone, this was not my first rodeo, but it was my first time choosing to go without the double stroller. Zachary always wants to get out anyway, I thought, why not let him walk and burn some of that pent up energy? This was both a great decision and a terrible one. Zach loved walking around like a big boy, and Aiden thoroughly enjoyed being able to see everything without Zachary’s head in the way for a change. I did have to leave the stroller to chase Zach down a couple times, but it went pretty well. That was, until we tried to leave after lunch. Lately, as I stated before, Zachary has been giving me a hard time leaving the house and once we’re out he doesn’t want to go back home. I told him it was time for us to go home and say “bye bye” to the aquarium… annnd cue meltdown. Picture this if you will: it’s lunch time, there’s people everywhere, not a lot of room to move through the crowd, and my child starts freaking out. I had to pick him up and carry him, trying to keep him from hitting anyone, while navigating through a sea of people, and simultaneously pushing a bulky stroller. Upon our arrival to our vehicle I had to change diapers and get Zachary into his car seat. He fought me through it all. Even Aiden started acting up. I swear they feed off each other. Thankfully both boys fell asleep on the drive home because I was about to kill somebody (not really of course, but you know what I mean). Everyone was quiet, that is until Aiden woke up early and fussed almost all afternoon. When Zachary woke up from his nap it was time to accomplish the impossible: get everyone out the door, again, and go to Walmart to pick up an inexpensive microwave. FYI I was not planning on spending $70, but whatcha gonna do? Our Walmart trip was frustrating to say the least. I had to let Zach walk next to me because the microwave took up all of the room in the cart. Somehow I thought that would work out okay. Seriously? Check out brought another meltdown. At this point I had lost count of them. Check out complete. Back to the car. Thank you kind Walmart employee for pushing the cart while I carried my boy. And thank you for loading my trunk while I put my children in their seats. You are awesome! Back home. Time for dinner. By now it’s 7:30ish… way too late for dinner. Change Aiden’s diaper and get him in jammies. Chase Zach to change his diaper and get him in jammies, which he strongly protested. Teeth brushed. Books read. Bottle for Aiden. Aiden passes out. Sing to Zach. Pray with Zach. Kiss Zach goodnight. It’s 9:30. Ugh. And of course I still have dishes to do and laundry to fold. I do the bare minimum and try to finish this post. That didn’t happen. *By the way, I know I flipped from past to present tense. I do that in conversation sometimes. I am a grammar freak, but I’d rather this reads like I’m talking than a properly written piece. Back to it…* I put on a movie, fell asleep on the couch, woke up at 1:30, and went to bed.
Btw… This parenting thing, it’s tough work especially when you’re by yourself. All you single parents out there: I don’t know how you do it. You are incredible!
Yesterday (Friday) both boys woke up late again, but we did manage to get to the playground before lunch time. Zach burned a lot of energy, thank God. They fell asleep in the car, again, and I tried to finish this post, again. And again, that didn’t happen. Aiden woke up earlier than expected, ate, and played. Zach woke up later than expected and back out we went’ this time to the grocery store and it went surprisingly well. Still rough, but better than Thursday. We got home and ate dinner late, again. Diapers changed. Jammies on. Teeth brushed. Books read. Sing. Pray. Tuck everyone in. Neither of them would go to sleep. It’s 9:30 and they are both still wide awake. NOOOO! Aiden passed out somewhere around 9:45, but Zachary was all over the place in there and was getting into everything he could. So I went into the battle zone armed and ready to get this child to sleep. I told him it was time to go to sleep, he hopped into bed, and I left. We did this little dance 3 times. Finally I removed any toys left in the room. (I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner… probably exhaustion.) Zachary was tucked in and kissed goodnight for the 5th time and I went to call my mother and vent. I was stressed, tired, and overwhelmed. My husband had left for this trip in the blink of an eye, my sons were confused, why wasn’t daddy home, and I was still reeling from it all. Like I said, shore duty has ruined me. I told my mother how tired I was, how I hadn’t eaten since before noon, and how it was after 10pm and Zachary still wasn’t asleep. I wanted someone to come in and make everything better, to fix it. Make my kids behave how I wanted them to and make the day go the way I wanted it to go. But, duh, life doesn’t work that way. I asked her how I was supposed to make it through several days like this to which she replied, “You just have to take it one day at a time. Just get through one day, don’t worry about tomorrow”. As she spoke some sense into me, I realized that it was more my stress level than Dave being gone that was having a negative effect on us. My children were picking up on my stress and frustrations which stressed them and was making them miserable. I was starting the day with a “here we go again” mindset and each little inconvenience pushed my mind deeper into the rabbit hole that is negativity. I was exhausted not from my responsibilities, but from my own negative attitude. It takes energy to be positive or negative; but positivity will make you feel energized while negativity just drags you down. I needed to take my thoughts captive, to tame my tongue, and stop allowing the negative to gain control over me and my family. I really, truly, needed to surrender everything, all of it, to the Lord and ask Him for help. And not just once, but all throughout the day, especially when I feel like being a grump. So last night, after getting off the phone with my mom, I prayed and made that choice. Ya know, the one where I relinquish control. This seems to be a running theme with me. Afterwards I sat on the couch with my Greek pasta salad (Big Y, I love your pasta salads) and fell asleep while watching The Lego Movie. First of all, yes, I watched The Lego Movie… by myself. Anyway. Secondly, how does someone fall asleep watching THE LEGO MOVIE?! I mean, the first time I saw it I felt like I was gonna have a seizure. How do you fall asleep to that? I don’t know.
Now today is Saturday. I was awakened at 6:30 to the sound of babbling and Zachanese. Oh no. Nope. Don’t even start that negative-ness. Okay. Where’s the positive in this? Nobody’s screaming/crying. That’s good. And this means they’ll nap earlier which also means they’ll go to bed on time tonight! OH YES YES YES! Both boys woke up happy and hungry. Change diapers (I change a lot of diapers). Get breakfast ready. Feed kids. Make coffee. Everyone’s happy. Yes. Get boys dressed. Get self dressed. Reheat coffee. Everyone’s still happy. Yes, again. Aiden fell asleep before we could get outside? No problem. Just make musical instruments out of Puffs containers, elbow macaroni, dry garbanzos, and dry couscous.
I think I started to write this with the intention of saying, “Ugh. Look at my problems. It’s so rough right now. Woe to me.” But it’s funny how God turns things around and makes you look in the mirror. My attitude changed the course of the day. Not my children’s behavior. Not our schedule. Not exhaustion or lack of caffeine. Me. My mindset. My mentality. My attitude. I don’t think these next several days are going to be so terrible after all, as long as I give my God control and trust that He is with me through all of this.
Well, my boy and I are watching Horton Hears a Who together, a family favorite. Gotta go.
*We did get to FaceTime with David this week, which was wonderful. We miss you! I can't wait to hear all about Scotland and see all the pictures. Love you hunny!